Thursday, August 9, 2012

Let it Be


I have gone back and forth about whether or not to right this blog.  
I feel like I should let you all know why I have been in and out with the blog world lately.  
So here goes...

A few weeks ago, I had stopped to get a drink at Sonic.  I was sitting there, waiting and I had a sudden urge to call my husband and tell him that I loved him.  As I was picking up my phone, it began to ring.  It was him.   I jokingly answered saying that I was thinking of him and that it was weird that he was calling me.  He told me that he had left work and was on the way to the hospital because our grandson had stopped breathing. 
I was about 20 minutes from the hospital...the whole way there...with flashers going and calling friends and family to ask them to pray for him.  I was hoping for the best.  When I got there,  my husband was standing outside... I walked up to him and he went to his knees.  All I can remember is screaming, "He IS ok... isn't he?  He is just fine, right?"  He wasn't.

As I look back at these past weeks, a lot of things have changed in my world.  I have grown to love God even more.  I have watched my husband become the pillar that everyone turns to.  I have seen our daughter become a much stronger woman.  I have developed a much stronger love for all of my families and friends.  I have also had a bit of my heart break.   I have learned never to hang up or leave someone without saying that I love them first.

I have gone through several emotions.  Asking why, over and over.  Being downright mad. Crying myself to sleep at night.  Then I have to stop and think... what about our daughter? Her whole world has changed.  She is so awesome though...I can't even begin to describe how proud I am every time I look at her.  

Everything stopped that day for all of us... All of a sudden the little things didn't matter so much.

A few days after that, my husband had gone to town.  When he came home, I was sitting on the floor crying.  All I could think about was when they had taken our daughter's baby away from her for the last time.  That is a pain and anguish that I would never wish upon anyone. He hugged me and said he had come home quicker because he had something he wanted to tell me.  He had a cup of coffee and held it up.  He asked me when I ever saw him drink out of that cup.  I said, NEVER.  He said, EXACTLY.  It was a Beatles coffee cup and it had the words "LET IT BE" on it.  He said he started going over the lyrics in his head and it instantly made him feel better.  Honestly, it did me too.  


You never know how God is going to show you a sign or help you through things.  That simple black and white coffee cup was our sign from Him.  With this all being said, we are all on the mend.  Every day there is more and more laughter... We are making plans for future things.  We are hugging more and just appreciating the things that we have.  I have days when I can work and days when I can't.  Karen, being the awesome person that she is, has been very understanding of this...I can't be more thankful for her for that.  So,  I am getting back in the saddle and you will start seeing a lot more from me on here.  Thanks for listening. 



  1. Hugs to you and your family. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through.

  2. When I met my husbands family, it was very different than my family growing up. Whenever anyone left the house, they always gave each other a kiss and hug and told each other that they love them. Even if they were going to do something as small as run to the store to get some milk. It seemed strange and awkward to me, but we have adopted it to our family ever since day one. It is standard business for us, and I would not change it for anything. Every morning, and a kiss good night. I hope you heal together, and may God bless and keep you.

  3. I am so sorry to read of your family's great loss. He will help you thru it. ((hugs))

  4. I'm so sorry. I have no words to say other than that I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

  5. Oh my, I have been on the hurting end and its not a fun ride is it. But it will get easier, it will become fond memories more than tragic memories. I will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. I remember when I was pregnant with my last little one, I worked at a local hospital. A coworker and I were racing neck to neck in the pregnancy, and she won. It was a week later that I was working and her little girl was brought in, its was SIDS. To this day I remember Heidi whispering in my ear to never forget to hug then and give them that extra kiss. I haven't forgotten! May Heavenly Father help you to heal.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. The story was such a wakeup call for me - I am sure it was a sign. My husband has just left on a 10 hour journey and we didn't part the best of friends. This has never happened before because we are a very loving family always giving hugs and kisses. It will be 2 days before he gets home and I can't believe I let him go like that. I will be praying for his safe return every minute he's away . I argument seems so irrelevant now. Sharyn

  7. My soul is aching for you and your family -- I can't even begin to imagine or comprehend the roller coaster of emotions and life changes. It wasn't easy for you to share but I appreciate that you opened your heart and lives to us for all of us to learn from it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.


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