I have gone back and forth about whether or not to right this blog.
I feel like I should let you all know why I have been in and out with the blog world lately.
So here goes...
A few weeks ago, I had stopped to get a drink at Sonic. I was sitting there, waiting and I had a sudden urge to call my husband and tell him that I loved him. As I was picking up my phone, it began to ring. It was him. I jokingly answered saying that I was thinking of him and that it was weird that he was calling me. He told me that he had left work and was on the way to the hospital because our grandson had stopped breathing.
I was about 20 minutes from the hospital...the whole way there...with flashers going and calling friends and family to ask them to pray for him. I was hoping for the best. When I got there, my husband was standing outside... I walked up to him and he went to his knees. All I can remember is screaming, "He IS ok... isn't he? He is just fine, right?" He wasn't.
As I look back at these past weeks, a lot of things have changed in my world. I have grown to love God even more. I have watched my husband become the pillar that everyone turns to. I have seen our daughter become a much stronger woman. I have developed a much stronger love for all of my families and friends. I have also had a bit of my heart break. I have learned never to hang up or leave someone without saying that I love them first.
I have gone through several emotions. Asking why, over and over. Being downright mad. Crying myself to sleep at night. Then I have to stop and think... what about our daughter? Her whole world has changed. She is so awesome though...I can't even begin to describe how proud I am every time I look at her.
Everything stopped that day for all of us... All of a sudden the little things didn't matter so much.
A few days after that, my husband had gone to town. When he came home, I was sitting on the floor crying. All I could think about was when they had taken our daughter's baby away from her for the last time. That is a pain and anguish that I would never wish upon anyone. He hugged me and said he had come home quicker because he had something he wanted to tell me. He had a cup of coffee and held it up. He asked me when I ever saw him drink out of that cup. I said, NEVER. He said, EXACTLY. It was a Beatles coffee cup and it had the words "LET IT BE" on it. He said he started going over the lyrics in his head and it instantly made him feel better. Honestly, it did me too.
THERE WILL BE AN ANSWER....LET IT BE!
You never know how God is going to show you a sign or help you through things. That simple black and white coffee cup was our sign from Him. With this all being said, we are all on the mend. Every day there is more and more laughter... We are making plans for future things. We are hugging more and just appreciating the things that we have. I have days when I can work and days when I can't. Karen, being the awesome person that she is, has been very understanding of this...I can't be more thankful for her for that. So, I am getting back in the saddle and you will start seeing a lot more from me on here. Thanks for listening.